"Funny thing about memories is that, as it's now known, when they surface, we look at them with our current understanding and they get stored from the current point of view. And that is true for every time we again have the memory. In other words, none of our memories are intact. The good thing is: Over time, if done consciously, we can actually deliberately change how the memory gets stored. If we look at it with bitterness and hatred - maybe even vengeance (God will get you for that! - just you wait), or longing or regret, or understanding and love, etc. that's how it gets packed away. This could be about things we ourselves have done, or been done to by other people, or pleasant or unpleasant events. Maybe a good thing to ask ourselves is "what is it possible to achieve by simply re-phrasing our memories consciously?" We're the adults now. We get to parent ourselves. For better or worse."