being the adult - on parenting ourselves...

 "Funny thing about memories is that, as it's now known, when they surface, we look at them with our current understanding and they get stored from the current point of view. And that is true for every time we again have the memory. In other words, none of our memories are intact. The good thing is: Over time, if done consciously, we can actually deliberately change how the memory gets stored. If we look at it with bitterness and hatred - maybe even vengeance (God will get you for that! - just you wait), or longing or regret, or understanding and love, etc. that's how it gets packed away. This could be about things we ourselves have done, or been done to by other people, or pleasant or unpleasant events. Maybe a good thing to ask ourselves is "what is it possible to achieve by simply re-phrasing our memories consciously?" We're the adults now. We get to parent ourselves. For better or worse."

listen to the wind...

- message received by Regina Dawn Akers - May 19, 2008

The Teachings of Inner Ramana

 .....

“ “I am that I am” continues to be your friend and ally, because “I am that I am” is a reminder that occupies the mind. It is helpful to keep the mind occupied with a useful reminder, because that keeps the ears perked up and listening for only Me.

 .....

Be willing to also use the mind to ask questions, such as “What am I to do?” or “What is there for me to see?” Do not [think to find] answers to your questions. Only ask, and let
the answers come from the wind ... If you expect nothing more distinct than the indistinctness of the wind, you shall know what to do now, and all else shall be added to
you by the wind.”

  ..._/l\_...

A Cautionary Tale...to U.S.P.S. patrons

November 14th, 2019 I packed an ebay purchase of Magnetic Clay for a buyer whose address is in New Jersey. I had begun taking all my packages to the post office myself rather than wait till our carrier picks up - which is usually late in the afternoon. I don't remember whether I dropped off the package in the lobby receptacle, or inside the post office on the counter like so many people do nowadays with pre-paid packages. I assumed the packages are all being scanned by the post office workers, and sent on their merry little way to their respective destinations.

About 2 weeks later I was looking through my ebay sold items, and saw that this particular package had not been delivered yet. I messaged the buyer asking whether by chance she had received the package, because it had not been scanned at my post office, or in fact, anywhere along the way. Packages can arrive at their destinations without being scanned even once, but that is highly unusual. She replied that had not received it. Before I had finished messaging her in return that I would try to track it down, and if it was missing completely I would give her a full refund she had already left me (my very first) negative feedback - saying she had not received the package. Ouch!

I made a trip to my post office with information in hand, and they were, of course, unable to find any info on the package since they had (unbeknownst to me) not scanned it. They admitted that it was even a possibility that a post office patron had taken it off the counter and simply walked out with it.

I issued a full refund to the ebay buyer, and waited a while before requesting a "postage refund" from Stamps.com in the event the package was still somewhere out there, taking a very circuitous pathway between here and there. Refunds from Stamps.com can take weeks. A few weeks later I needed to make another refund request from Stamps.com because an etsy buyer had neglected to update their mailing address, and then requested that I use their current address - “if it's not too inconvenient, please!”. That means buying another label, and waiting weeks for a refund on the first one. A few weeks later the second refund request was fulfilled, but the first one was still in play, or so I thought. I checked in, and it appeared the request had been closed without a refund. I checked the tracking number at that point and saw that the package had NOW been delivered on December 26th, but not to my buyer in New Jersey. It had been delivered to an address in Hazelton. First though, it had been scanned in Santa Clarita California, and then made it's way to Hazelton. I went on to USPS.com and opened a “lost” claim for this mis-delivered package, which is what I thought it was at this point. For some reason I just felt like that claim was not enough. I printed out the USPS tracking path, and the paypal receipt of the initial purchase with the tracking number on it, and headed back to the post office. They remembered that I had been in before about this particular package. After 45 minutes the clerk came back with "this is a really tricky problem. We are not sure how to handle it yet, but we will try to get to the bottom of this." He said that somehow someone in California used the bar code on my package to ship a package from their location to someone in Hazelton.

What is a mystery is how that person got the bar code. The bar code was activated by a postal carrier scanner on Dec. 23rd in Santa Clarita. The local clerk was able to get photos of the package, with my package bar code on it, as it was scanned several times en-route. It was a plastic bubble mailer, and not the Medium Flat Rate Priority Mail box I had used. I did not recognize the names of either the sender or the recipient.

But wait there's more. The clerk told me that people are now stealing bar codes off packages to ship drug paraphernalia so there is no trace back to them. Usually the package is shipped to a vacant house, and after the carrier drops off the package someone comes and gets it.

Well, this is not welcome news to me. Up to that point I had been using an adhesive plastic sleeve to enclose the shipping label on the package. I had sometimes considered that those could easily be slit open and the label removed, but didn't want to be paranoid about it. Trust me, now I am taping every label onto the package so it is not easy to remove. I am also going to begin gluing the label to the package - especially the bar code area. And take photos of the package prior to dropping it at the post office. These are more steps to take for package shipping, but it seems a necessity in this day and age.

A little more information here...at the post office I was definitely made to feel as though they thought I might be an accomplice in this saga. Since they didn't do their job of scanning there is no proof that I delivered the package to the post office but, in their eyes I may have sent the label to the Ca. shipper, and was now trying to claim insurance on the package. I went back a second time armed with my Stamps.com and my USPS receipt for that particular purchase, where it's absolutely clear that the package, with this bar code, shipped from my Florida address to a New Jersey address, and that it was a USPS Flat Rate Medium package and not a plastic bubble mailer.

My contact at my post told me via phone message there is nothing they can do about this problem. All I can do is hope to get my claim acknowledged.

And there was no interest in tracking down the shipper in Ca. for mail fraud.

Last thing...I called ebay and spoke with a representative, explained the situation that resulted in the negative feedback, and asked if it was possible to remove it since I had made a full refund. She saw that the buyer and I had exchanged messages, and graciously agreed to remove the negative feedback. Lessons learned, and moving forward...

1/06/20 update: USPS denied my claim since a package with my bar code (not my package) had already been delivered. I have one more hope...a friend of a friend here in Sarasota is a postal worker, and is often delivering in my area. Maybe she can help, or make suggestions... waiting for a response from her.

1/17/20 update: After submitting an appeal (with irrefutable evidence) to the claim denial online as well as an appeal to their snail mail claim denial the claim has been approved. The evidence is in the tracking history, as well as my shipping label receipt, and the photo from USPS of the second package with my package’s bar code on it. I am relieved to know that one does have a chance at an appeal when evidence is provided. Faith has been partially restored. Still, I will continue to take photos of outgoing packages and file them, and make sure my outgoing packages get scanned by the postal workers - with a receipt for the more valuable packages. Once the bar code has been scanned the shipper is liable. 

 etsy sellers drawn into package delivery scams?

etsy forums post: The word about the tracking number scam is getting out.